Cheated Woman Exposes Myths About Infidelity and Internet Dating

Instead of putting energy into an affair going nowhere, Sarah Strudwick became single and wrote a new book, "Infidelity Unwrapped," to help uncover cheating partners and empower faithful spouses.

"We live in a confusing society where roles are changing and pretty much anything goes, where men have become confused about their role in relationships, resulting in communication breakdowns and lack of intimacy. We live in a throwaway society where marriage and long-term relationships are considered unimportant, and cheating is commonplace," Strudwick says.

"Many partners are unaware of a spouse's infidelity primarily because of lack of information, ignorance and denial. They are unable to catch a cheating spouse without the right tools. 'Infidelity Unwrapped' provides the information and insight that people need to uncover a cheating spouse's affairs."

Strudwick grew up in a household where the Internet, one of the biggest enablers when it comes to affairs, was not yet invented. Her father was a serial cheater, and Strudwick herself ended up in a relationship with a married man.

She decided to investigate the Internet dating phenomena by exploring pornography, domination, swinging and extramarital dating sites. Using expert skills about how people lie, which she learned as a child, and learning from her married lover, Strudwick investigated the ways people cover up affairs and the creative ways they lie.

Coupled with her skills as an IT worker, Strudwick put together a comprehensive Web site that deals with infidelity and online affairs.

There is a growing number of Web sites specifically aimed at extramarital dating. One extramarital dating site alone signed up more than 100,000 members in four years. With up to 50 per cent of marriages ending in divorce, Internet affairs account for a high proportion of breakups. It is possible to buy software to cover one's tracks whilst browsing online. For people having affairs, it's even possible to buy an alibi to explain away those weekends spent with a secret lover.

"Men visited sex workers long before the Internet, through the use of contact magazines and local newspapers. However, with a growing number of escorts having their own Web sites, and with a huge fascination via the media for fetish, there is a substantial market for alternative sex," Strudwick says. "A well known Web site has nearly 3.5 million members, many of whom are married men who cheat. Men in particular are now having extramarital affairs outside of marriage, including visiting professional dominatrices, because of the belief that, similar to phone or cyber sex, they are not actually cheating because there is no penetration."

However, Strudwick says, women and men are becoming smarter Internet users, utilizing the very tools that their cheating partners used to escape detection to uncover affairs. With new technology, including software that logs a partner's every key stroke and devices that can recover deleted text messages, not to mention inexpensive surveillance equipment without using a private detective, there is nothing a person cannot discover about a partner.

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