Summer Flings

Brought into mainstream culture by Grease(1978), holiday romances have not outdated themselves and for some, occupy most of their summer.

However, along with the popularity, people are now learning commitment lessons and finding long-term relationships that bloom from the roots of fleeting love. Toronoto native Tabi Irani shared her story of finding summer love when she was 18.

"I was on my way to a punk-rock show the summer right after I graduated from high school. I was young, single and swimming in heat and hormones."

She left Scarborough on the rapid transit (the Scarborough subway) and made her way to downtown Toronto to see her favourite band perform. A "tall, cute redhead" got on at Midland and each one caught the other's eye. They talked until he reached his stop and she thought she would never see him again.

It was 2 a.m. and she was leaving the concert hall ... and there he was. He explained that when he got off at his stop, he flipped through the concert listings of NOW magazine, hoping to find the concert's location.

She left with him, hand in hand, and talked for the entire night, laying on the grass in the park.

"We laid in the grass and talked. We talked about music, politics, spirituality and all the things you talk about when you have all night with one person and you think you need to know everything about them.

It wasn't until 5 a.m. that she was on her way home with her special guy escorting her all the way.

"We knew, like every teenager that has a surreal night, we had found something in each other, something to hang on to, our heads were in the clouds."

As her feet touched the pavement at her stop, she told him to call her. As the bus rolled on, he called out telling her he did not have her number. It was too late and she never saw him again.

She was upset.

"But soon, I was 19, summer was over ... I was meeting new people, playing in my own band ... he was forgotten. I'll always have a great summer fling story and I'll always remember what it's like to be 18, impulsive, and totally in love for 12 hours."

According to psychologist and relationship expert, Dr Sydney McGill, the kind of person who is likely to get involved in a summer romance is, "someone who is depressed, hypomanic, vicariously curious or bored".

However, popular dating site Devil Called Love has individual testimonials from people who have found well balanced relationships out of summer 'flings'.

Sierra, a 24-year-old Los Angeles native, tells her tale of a romance she developed with a college freshman, Sean. When the summer ended, she was concerned and wondered what would happen, considering they lived three hours apart.

"We had a plan and stuck to it," she is quoted as saying, "and that is what kept us going. We've been together for seven years now."

McGill, notes, "for one person [involved in the fling], it could be fulfilling a fantasy or down time. For someone else, it might be a sexual desire that has a short fuse".

'Short fuse'

He explained a sexual desire with a 'short fuse' as, "an intimacy issue that might be compounded by trust issues from previous relationships".

McGill said that whether a summer romance is frowned upon, "depends on the partners' moral development and what is acceptable in their communities".

McGill is not sure if the stress-free environment in which a summer fling is cultivated could lead to something more.

"Boredom or unplanned time seems to be the problem. The devil finds use for idle hands."